the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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