in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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