i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
