He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
it's like heaven, but drunker
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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