So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
