is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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