How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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