How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
