Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
