I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You ruined the universe
Randomize
