I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
