Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
