You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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