sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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