If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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