I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
