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then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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