I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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