i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
