It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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