if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
