You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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