You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
