She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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