I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
