I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My pussy is not your playground.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
