boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
