I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
