the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
