3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
