Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
