instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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