i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
i believe in u and ur pee
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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