i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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