Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
