:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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