Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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