i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
