How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
