I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
