I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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