she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
id be glad to
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
