dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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