are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Randomize
