just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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