Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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