he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
