when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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