you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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