No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
