hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
